Every week, Lisa Borden interviews a member of The Wellness Intelligence Collective ... everyone has a story to tell! I hope they are fun to read and help you get to know others in TWIC a little better. If you would like to be interviewed, please let me know!
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Why did you choose to become an actor?
There are times in our lives when we hope to make good choices. This is a brief story as to how I chose an acting career.
I had C + grades, sometimes a B in high school. I was not the greatest student. Therefore, I didn’t know what I wanted to do for a living when I was accepted into York University in Toronto.
In grade twelve, I had an English teacher who said he’d try and help me get my English grades up. I did a little better in his class that year, but when I couldn’t fulfill the requirements on the exams, I would write a poem at the end of my papers and he marked them saying ‘I was good.’ Probably, one of the first times I actually heard someone say I was good at something. It inspired me to keep writing out my feelings. I enjoyed it, so I ended up studying poetry, prose, and screenwriting in my entire undergrad years.
In my second year of university, I had one good friend who was studying acting. He suggested I should audit his evening acting class at Ryerson University. So, I did. When I saw those actors perform, one of the first voices coming from my gut was ‘I do that every day. That is how I see the world and think.’ Next thing I knew, I was enrolled in that evening class.
Around that same time, I got pulled up on stage to play guitar with the world’s greatest band U2. Part of me believed I willed it to happen and that confidence stayed with me as I entered the world of an actor.
When I graduated university, I asked this professional actor friend of mine, ‘What do I do next?’ He suggested I go to New York if I wanted to be an actor. Next thing I knew, I was flying to New York to audition at the renowned Circle in the Square Theatre School. I was accepted and was living in New York City three weeks later.
My first night in New York City, I was lonely, scared, tearful so I stayed at a friends’ father’s home. The next morning, I went to my first class, and was hooked. I loved every second of living in New York and being an actor. I met some Torontonian’s living in New York who had their own theatre school, so I started studying with them. A year and a half later, I was permanently living in New York City, where I belonged.
I had many, ‘ah ha,’ moments. Literally, I was opening a cab door to get into the car when I had this feeling like I belonged. There were many other moments performing, walking down the streets of New York, being in a theatre, studying with some of the top actors in the world.
Why did I choose to become an actor? What I learned early on my pursuit of the craft of acting was: it is who I am. I am an actor, writer and storyteller. I am and have always been an actor and writer. My New York life confirms it.
You can learn more about my career at:
www.albernstein.weebly.com
Music has a huge influence on you, do you have a favorite concert moment?
I have been a super fan of the band U2 all my life. I have been to every concert tour of theirs accept the latest Sphere concert. Every U2 concert I have attended has been incredible.
What is it about this band? The anthemic passionate wrenching guitar, heavy bass and backbeat lifts up my heart and I feel like I can do anything.
On October 3rd, 1987 U2 came to Toronto on their Joshua Tree Tour. For the first time in their career, they were the biggest band in the world. On the cover of Time Magazine and Newsweek.
I had become great friends with another U2 super fan a few months before that concert. He had concert ticket connections and told me he wanted take me to see that show and we’ll have front row center seats.
I started playing guitar that summer too. He and I listened to a bootleg tape of U2 from this tour where they pulled up a fan to play guitar on the song ‘People Get Ready,’ a Curtis Mayfield cover.
The moment I heard that tape I started having dreams I was the one being pulled up to play guitar with them. I kept seeing it, visualizing it, telling people I’ll be playing guitar with U2 in a few months, and willing it to happen.
On October 3rd, 1987, I played guitar with U2 in front of sixty-five thousand screaming fans.
This is my favorite concert moment, even though I was in shock for the latter half of the show.
Why does becoming famous seem to be a measure of success in our world? What makes you feel successful?
I can only give you my point of view at this time in my life.
When you say ‘in our world.’ I feel that means in the ‘western world.’ I am sure becoming famous is not a measure of success in other countries on earth.
During my upbringing, I feel I was taught that money means success versus self-awareness, confidence building, and self-esteem. I observed as young person, if one is making lots of money; they are successful according to the market place, my grandparents and my parents.
Large corporations sell the idea of fame, and materialism as if that is the way to succeed. They reward those who achieve certain levels of fame. In my industry being famous can be a measure of success. The focus is mostly on the United States entertainment industry not so much the Canadian. The United States has a star system. English speaking Canada does not.
Hollywood began when wealthy individuals created the Studio System. Actors were contracted to the studios on multiple picture deals like athletes are contracted today. In return the actor could become famous. They became household names during the golden age of television and film. The actor is a product that makes money for the studios, in return the studios made them famous.
Today, a handful of large corporations own the studios, but the actor is still a product. I am certain your readers understand this.
I believe the flattening of the world through globalization and tech is spreading out the wealth and fame is being redefined.
In my industry over the past decade YouTube, streaming and social media has offered more opportunities for people and their work to be seen. The market place is flooded with content, making it harder to find quality content, but overwhelming us with product. In my opinion fame is becoming less of a factor if you’re going to measure success through that lens.
What is success? That is the question.
I don’t think becoming famous is a measure of success, because in the end I believe the definition of success is personal. Each individual defines it differently. There are many moments of success in a lifetime.
Yes. Money is a priority in my life and as an actor and writer, if I succeed, most likely there’ll be some fame attached to my work and product. Yet, I define success as connections and personal relationships. If I can have consistent healthy communication and connections to the people I love, the people that love me and honestly, with anyone. I am successful.
You've lived in many cities, what made you leave Toronto, and what made you decide to come back home?
I moved to New York City to become a good actor, and not long after that move, I realized I belonged in New York City. I feel closest to myself in New York City. The energy, sense of freedom, the sense that everyone is so concentrated on their goals of living life to the fullest, the theatre, plus all of the world is represented in New York. I thrived there and grew into my own studying with the greatest actors and teachers in the world. I received my MFA at the Actors Studio Drama School in New York. I ended up living there the majority of sixteen years and loved every second of it.
Then my father got really sick and passed away. After a bit of time…I moved to Los Angeles.
I lived there for nine years loving it too. It is a completely different experience. The state of California is so beautiful, the weather is perfect and it is the center of show business, so I was closer to bigger opportunities.
One truism in my life is that I always kept a toe or two in Toronto. Why? I lived in New York City without permanent residency for most of my time there, so it was a challenge to find good paying acting work. Secondly, I would spend most of my summers at my family’s cottage north of Toronto, so it was hard to give that up, plus I could get more work in Toronto as an actor during the summer time. Finally, possibly a deeper truth. The noise from the insecure child in me would make Toronto feel like a safer choice.
I moved back to Toronto for a girl.
Settling down with a partner and possibly having children was a wish of mine. I had faith it was going to happen, so I didn’t push it. At the same time, that insecure child’s voice in my head said: ‘who’s going to marry a struggling artist?’ I had faith even though it was probably true for some of my partners. Then, I found myself in a long-distance relationship, me in Los Angeles, her in Toronto. Time was ticking. So, I moved to Toronto. Funny enough, that relationship didn’t work out (hmm), but not soon after, I met my wife and I couldn’t be happier. So, moving back to Toronto for a girl came true after all.
When you created and produced WalledIN, the short film was mental wellness already a popular conversation to have?
Mental Wellness is always a conversation worth having. It is so much more of a conversation now. I believe the shootings in Columbine in 1999 were a tipping point. Sadly, as I write this, I am aware it is the twenty-fifth anniversary of those shootings.
I made my award-winning short film, WalledIN in 2017 about a bipolar teenage girl struggling with her coping mechanisms.
The mental health crisis amongst teens today is dire. One thing I feel in my heart is necessary. The more we have the conversation around mental health in our youth and the role of the community from the ground up, the easier it will be for the powers that be to see how to change their systems. It is taking ideas, and truisms from the community itself and implementing them from the inside out. What better way to inspire a movement, than through storytelling and art. It is how we learn about our past and create our future.
I believe social media, smartphones, and the systems in place for teenagers are not enough to provide the healthiest supervision, education and safety for young people struggling today.
I believe because of technology, life today and the systems to protect, regulate and educate us all are changing faster than the people running these systems can handle. This is forcing the world to change, but the forward thinkers in our world, who are in a place of power to actually change things are struggling between making a fortune and listening to the peoples needs.
What is your goal with this film/project?
I have artistic goals with the project and I have mental health awareness goals with the project.
I want WalledIN to be an artistic and financial success so that it creates more opportunity for me as an artist and all the artists involved in the making of it. WalledIN forces the conversation around mental health and wellness.
It is my hope that private financiers and philanthropists who support the mental health industry, mental health professionals, social workers, teachers, mental health organizations will join and support the creation and life of WalledIN.
I want young people interested in filmmaking and the theatre industries to join me on this project. I want to build a social media presence with WalledIN. Imagine your teenager joining us on set, or in rehearsals and live streaming the process. WalledIN, the play is produced in high schools all around the world. The play and the feature film will spark conversations.
You can read more about WalledIN, the feature film, the play and the Conversation here:
www.walledinfilm.com
You can donate to the non-profit organization who is the Sponsor Producer for the play version here:
www.equityshowcase.ca/walledin
What do you rely on to lift you up when you feel low?
My wife. Granddaughter. Journaling. Healthy consistent communication with friends. Mom. Exercise, Stretching. Acting and writing. Music. Sunshine and being by the water.
What makes you feel safe with regard to a friend?
Consistent communication. Connection. Honesty and trust.
What environment offers you peace?
Being anywhere with my wife, granddaughter, niece and Mom. Live music. The theatre. The cinema. New York. My family’s cottage by the lake. Being by a body of water. Playing sports. Road trips. Meditating.
Do you use skills now that you honed as a waterski instructor as a young person?
Yes. Interpersonal skills. Discipline. A regular routine. Connecting with younger people. Having a sense of humor.
What is the magic of summer camp from your experience?
Community. Constant connection. Personhood. Facing challenges as a close-knit community stemming from the cabin reaching all the way to the entire camp. Obviously, the environment of being by the water all day every day. The creation of trusting friendships that have lasted a lifetime. The fun outdoor daily activities provided in that environment.
You became a grandfather recently…what does a baby add to your life?
I ask your readers: what can a baby add to anyone’s life?
I do not have kids. I am more or less okay with that at this age. I kind of knew that could happen to me. It is a regret. Therefore, having a granddaughter through marriage means the world to me. Our granddaughter is almost ten months old and each and every moment I spend with her takes the edge off of life. Her smile melts my heart. Her grin is contagious. She is a really happy baby. She is beautiful, of course and I want to spend more and more time with her. I cannot wait to forge a lasting bond with her.
I pray deep into my heart that I can spend as much time as possible with our granddaughter so I can flourish in her company.
Having a granddaughter adds the opportunity for me to share everything I am with a child and give all the love I have to this child and hopefully more grandkids are in our future.
I have always loved kids. I am a kid myself and all I want to do is play.
Is being a stepfather challenging?
Yes. Why?
My wife has four amazing grown kids. Each one is so talented, confident and are living fulfilling lives.
I was introduced to them in their late 20s and early 30s already starting their careers, marriages, and kids. They are extremely confident adults with clear goals and on their way to achieving them. Therefore, me being a new intimate relationship in their lives seems like a challenge for them, a normal challenge, one that takes time.
I desire an intimate connection in my personal relationships and that takes time to build in some scenarios. I have hope.
Do you prefer performing, teaching or writing?
I prefer performing.
I love them all for different reasons.
Teaching allows me to share my expertise and experience along with creating and collaborating.
Writing allows me to express, use my imagination and create my own work.
Performing gives me the connection to an audience, collaborating with colleagues, an immediate sense of gratification and affirmation (if offered).
Advice to your 21-year-old self?
Don’t start smoking.
Don’t care what other people think.
I am not sure what to say to my twenty-one-year-old self, because I am still learning what to say to my younger self.
Hey, twenty-one-year-old self-create an exercise routine you love that could last you a lifetime. Create a mindfulness routine that you love that could last. Love your friends dearly. Do anything you can to learn how to build your self-esteem and stick with it throughout life. Learn how to love yourself and stick with it. Travel and take risks.
Advice to 21-year-olds today?
Get off your phone. Limit your scrolling through social media. Do not believe what you read or follow-on social media. Get educated beyond the smartphone and internet, through real lived experience. Create, take risks and forget about the likes and clicks.
What does Wellness Intelligence mean to you?
The word ‘Wellness,’ gives me an overall feeling. A general feeling. Google describes it as: physical, mental, spiritual, social, environmental, emotional and occupational wellness. It seems like a general term, not too specific.
Intelligence, on the other hand makes me laugh. Right now, as I write this, I feel the world lacks a huge amount of intelligence that all I can do is laugh and expect tears as it crumbles in front of us.
‘Wellness Intelligence,’ means to me at this point in time…good intensions.
A little bit of hope.
An attempt at making things better for oneself.
A step in the right direction.
The opportunity to create a new healthy habit.
To learn something new.
A general sense of wellbeing.
A new product to market to those with enough money and in need.
A community of well-intentioned people.
Wellness Intelligence. I believe when a child is born the parent’s only desire in life from that moment on is to protect every aspect of that child: emotional, spiritual, physical, environmental, social, mental and occupational. Therefore, isn’t wellness intelligence each human being’s goal in life? Somewhere along the road of life, people are being changed into ‘unhealthy stupid,’ people.